The content of this piece was written during a viewing of the first episode of Tenchi Muyo: Mihoshi Special on September 27, 2010. Edits have been made for spelling and grammar, but the rest is completely untouched, and un-edited from its original format.
If you ever wondered what bad fan-fiction would be like if it were animated, look no further. If you enjoy this, then I wonder if your heart is as black as the pits of Hell, where demons prowl and souls are rended bare. I’m clearly exaggerating, but it’s that bad. Please, do yourself a favor and spare yourself the punishment.
9:26 PM:Good evening, everybody. Tonight kicks off AIC Week with a look at one of AIC’s best-known shows: Tenchi Universe.
9:26 PM:While not as good as its OVA fore-runner, the show still has a lot of charm and character.
9:26 PM:As always, I’d like to open with some basic information:
9:26 PM:Directed by Hiroshi Negishi (Saber Marionette J, Master of Mosquiton)
9:26 PM:Character Designs by Hiroshi Negishi (Tenchi Muyo in Love, Yoshimune)
9:26 PM:Animated by AIC (natch)
9:26 PM:Originally released by Pioneer Animation (later, Geneon)
9:30 PM:And it’s about 9:30 so… actually, just a moment. :) I just found something awesome, here
9:31 PM:This is one I need to share with the trinity accounts.
9:31 PM:In lieu of Tenchi Universe, I just found a copy of Magical Girl Pretty Sammy. There’s going to be a substitute tonight!
9:34 PM:Now where was I?
9:34 PM:Oh yes. Magical Girl Pretty Sammy.
9:35 PM:I’ve heard that this is godawful, so we’re in for a treat tonight!
9:36 PM:But before I begin, the essentials:
9:36 PM:Directed by Kazuyuki Hirokawa (Galactic Patrol Lensman, Tattoon Master)
9:37 PM:Character designs by Yoshitaka Kohno (Magical Canan, Mozu no Nie)
9:37 PM:Animated by AIC.
9:38 PM:Anyway, I’ve eaten enough time, so may god have mercy on us all.
9:39 PM:I’m going in
9:39 PM:Title screen! “Tenchi muyo” – wow… anticlimactic
9:40 PM:Ryo-Ohki :D Being chased… by Mihoshi? With some pseudo-brainless song?
9:40 PM:Wat… Ryoko with a bunch of midgets? I don’t WANNA know o_o
9:41 PM:Ouch! Mihoshi, being the ditz she is, jumps right on her. O_o That’s gotta hurt.
9:41 PM:…Sasami’s Red Riding Hood? wat
9:42 PM:And I guess Mihoshi’s Alice.. and chowing down on Ayeka (evil witch?)’s apples. wtf
9:43 PM:And apparently, Mihoshi had enough poison to drop Elvis but she’s still running around. Seriously, wtf. This better be a dream or drug trip.
9:43 PM:Dead Ayeka is go… and mochi house :D
9:43 PM:House is gon’ get eaten
9:44 PM:And I called it. Predictable is predictable.
9:44 PM:…well, that explains things. This is the Mihoshi Special.
9:44 PM:Guess what! DOUBLE SURPRISE! :D
9:44 PM:Or something
9:45 PM:Ohp… Dream… AND fever dream it is.
9:45 PM:Hah :D “It’s the old witch! D:” Ayeka’s gonna kill her
9:46 PM:And now Ayeka’s going on about how useless she is. >_> Can’t argue there.
9:46 PM:Ryoko’s got a Game Boy. Old school.
9:46 PM:I swear, when Mihoshi talks, I want to hurt her.
9:47 PM:Nothing against her, she just annoys the crap out of me.
9:47 PM:And now she’s caught lying. Badly, at that. Fun.
9:47 PM:Blah blah space pirate stealing energy matter.
9:48 PM:I hope this leads to some Kiyone action – She makes Mihoshi worth enduring.
9:49 PM:“The pirate was… well, let’s say it was Ryoko for now :3”
9:49 PM:No objections
9:49 PM:Cyberpunk Ryoko = win
9:49 PM:“What is ultra energy-matter? T_T” “It’s ultra energy matter! ^_^” …Plutonium?
9:49 PM:Go go Space cop Tenchi!
9:50 PM:“That day, I headed to my office with complete composure :3′ “AAAH! I’M LATE :O” bad liar is bad
9:50 PM:And she’s crying. -_- Oh jeez
9:50 PM:Yay Kiyone :D
9:51 PM:“My life was absolutely perfect until I became a detective, but since I was partnered with you, it became a nightmare! T_T” I feel ya. T_T
9:51 PM:Yay, Kiyone bitching out Mihoshi :D
9:51 PM:This is like fan fiction :D
9:51 PM:Only worse ’cause it’s animated :D
9:52 PM:WTF is Ayeka doing here?
9:52 PM:“This bubblehead here is my partner Mihoshi.” I love how Kiyone just verbally berates her at every chance.
9:53 PM:“You must be Ryoko, huh? :D” … … … riiiiight
9:53 PM:And Sasami’s a waitress now? wat.
9:53 PM:Apparently, she’s an “apprentice detective”
9:53 PM:This is pretty fucking bad.
9:54 PM:Kiyone makes it worth watching at this point. “YOU ARE MY STAR OF HOPE, MIHOSHI!” god this is bad. #facepalm
9:54 PM:I’d have rather paid for Oujisama no Oyobi at this point
9:55 PM:And apparently, Mihoshi fails at storytelling. “THAT RYOKO BANG BANG BANG THUD THUD SQUEEZE SQUEEZE!” … is this action or sex? ‘_’
9:55 PM:If it’s the latter, they’re REALLY doing it wrong
9:56 PM:“What hardships were there? T_T” “Let’s skip that :D”
9:56 PM:Apparently, Mihoshi’s using Sasami for child labor. :D
9:57 PM:“Anyone should see that Tenchi is Ayeka’s last chance to get married! Why can’t you understand the old maid’s feeling?”
9:57 PM:Hah. :D Have to admit that was a good one from Mihoshi. Cruel as sin, but shockingly witty
9:57 PM:And Ayeka broke her out of the story to kick some ass.
9:58 PM:They clearly know she’s bullshitting.
9:59 PM:Back to the story – they’re at Ryoko’s uh… shed?
9:59 PM:And fighting in the vacuum of space with no suits
9:59 PM:Mihoshi’s stupid enough to ring the bell -_- -groan-
9:59 PM:And Ryoko’s getting Tenchi drunk? sounds about right
9:59 PM:Here comes the rape
10:00 PM:“Don’t add to the crimes you’ve committed! :O” And Ayeka breaks up the rape. I foresee a catfight
10:00 PM:Welp… there goes the kotatsu
10:00 PM:And the lights
10:00 PM:Catfight is go. Not even Kiyone’s getting near THAT psychobitch
10:01 PM:Ryoko’s a Nintendo fan – Super Famicom spotted :D
10:01 PM:Washuu = mastermind… fun.
10:02 PM:“DOKUTAA UAAASHU”
10:02 PM:Back to reality. Washuu = cooking fail
10:03 PM:“You really are a kind-hearted person, Ryoko :3” … and Ryoko’s cryin
10:03 PM:BAD. FAN. FICTION
10:04 PM:Ryoko = smart, Mihoshi = retarded
10:04 PM:Ayeka = pissed… and Sasami’s taking care of poor Kiyone. I really pity her
10:05 PM:In reality, they keep calling Mihoshi’s bullshit
10:06 PM:Finally, at DOKUTAA UUASHUU
10:06 PM:Who made a… huge moai head?
10:06 PM:And here comes the rape from Ryoko
10:07 PM:Correction: Moai head with GIANT FUCKING HAMMERS
10:07 PM:And now wat? ‘_’ Ryo-Ohki’s TALKING?
10:08 PM:“PURITII SAMII DA! :D” Hey, we DO get a taste of the suck!
10:08 PM:Cheesy 1990s henshin GO!
10:09 PM:Right down to underage naughty bits. WTF Japan
10:09 PM:Back to the rape.
10:09 PM:Oh come on! We could have salvaged the show with that! Somehow!
10:10 PM:Kiyone = awesome :D Trapped Washuu in a paradox.
10:10 PM:“If the universe doesn’t exist, you won’t exist :D” and… that pissed her off
10:10 PM:Ohp… Magical girl to save the day.
10:10 PM:“Just a magician who happened to stop by :D” oh god this is bad
10:11 PM:“Isn’t it too convenient?!” very.
10:11 PM:Yay – army of rapist chibi Ryokos all focused on Tenchi. This is turning into bad fanfic after all!
10:12 PM:Kiyone’s dead. Palpatine style.
10:13 PM:“You sacrificed yourself to save us ;-;” …she shares an apartment with her in the city.
10:14 PM:“I’ll never forget your sacrifice <3” Meanwhile… Kiyone’s lost in space and ready to murder. And YAY! CREDITS! :D
10:14 PM:Dear GOD this sucked. Seriously – I have to see how bad Pretty Sammy is now.