The content of this piece was written during a viewing of the first episode of Bubblegum Crisis on September 29, 2010. Edits have been made for spelling and grammar, but the rest is completely untouched, and un-edited from its original format.

I’ll admit that this is one of my favorite shows of all time. Still, I won’t let something like that get in my way of ripping it a new one!


9:02: Good evening, everybody. Welcome to night 3 of AIC week!

9:02: Tonight, I’ll be covering Bubblegum Crisis.

9:02: This is an absolute classic – one I actually wrote up in ’02. However, I also haven’t seen it SINCE ’02.

9:02: This makes the question of the night “Does it hold up well eight years later?”

9:02: I guess we’ll find out soon enough!

9:02: But first, some basic info:

9:03: Directed by Katsuhito Akiyama (Gall Force, Pumpkin Scissors)

9:03: Character designs by Kenichi Sonoda (Gunsmith Cats, Gall Force, Otaku no Video)

9:03: Mecha designs by Shinji Aramaki (Appleseed, Megazone 23, Wolf’s Rain)

9:05: It’s about 9:05, so let’s get this rockin’ ’80s party started!

9:06: Starting off in a sunset shot of MegaTokyo

9:06: (It’s not just a shitty webcomic!)

9:06: And now some demolition.

9:06: While the city glitters in the night

9:07: Very cinematic opener – helicopter flies by, title appears: Mega Tokyo 2032: The Story of Knight Sabers – BUBBLE GUM CRISIS

9:07: And sirens in the background as the helicopter continues

9:07: I forgot how gorgeous some of these backgrounds are. Absolutely stunning detail

9:08: Anyway, we’re seeing the city now – choked with cars

9:08: And a flythrough – girl in Sylia’s dress shop, aerobics class with Linna, hobo on a bus…

9:09: Graffiti: THE PRISS <3 REPLICANTS

9:09: And a poster for Priss

9:09: And real Priss working on her bike

9:09: Into the slums we go.

9:10: Right down to the millions of hobos >_>

9:10: Now is a good time to mention that I miss cyberpunk.

9:10: A lot.

9:10: Aniwho – down to a shitty club: Hot Legs – AND THE 80S MUSIC BEGINS >:o

9:10: As we see Priss getting ready for her show… saabisu saabisu!

9:11: The ’80s music is definitely one of the high points of the series

9:11: Oomori Kinuko at her finest, and amazing animation to really set the mood

9:12: “KONYAWA HARIKEEN! >:o”

9:12: You can really tell that they didn’t have a budget for this. Simply outstanding animation

9:12: And the cuts to the AD Police hunting down a rogue Boomer really help sell the feel of this series

9:13: Fun fact: The dub for this show was atrocious, but the dubbed songs were actually really, REALLY good

9:14: And we have the precursor to Master Chief gunning down Frankenstein. How nice. T_T

9:14: OH NOES THEY SHOT HIS SKIN OFF D:

9:14: Boomsticks don’t work on robots – good to know

9:15: This whole fight sequence is pure ’80s OVA excess. I can’t help but love it

9:15: “GEEF ME TAACH :D” Engrish is fun

9:15: As is ’80s fashion.

9:17: And the music fun is over – AD Police officer Leon’s heading to the scene, and so are everyone’s favorite vigilantes

9:17: We’ve got a runner!

9:17: And some epic shots of hardsuits

9:17: “Where’d the bastard go? oh D: uaaah D:” XD That doesn’t sound right for a guy who’s getting his head squished

9:18: And the Knight Sabers are on the prowl – with more epic ’80s music!

9:18: The fight scenes in this are just so fun to watch.

9:19: Oh yeah – Priss DID have a robot, didn’t she? Wonder what happened to that

9:19: And the boomer’s cornered – time for an ass-whuppin’

9:19: Or extreme Vulcan Gun frisbee >_>

9:20: “This one’s different… a whole new breed :o” …and he runs headless o_o Boomers are like chickens I guess

9:20: “NEWTAIPU? :O” Again – Engrish is fun

9:20: “FUNYDAY TAKE OUT OK” …wat

9:21: “Is that… Priss? :O” He seems shocked that a chick that works in a shitty bar goes to McDonald’s.

9:21: What kind of world does Leon live in? ‘_’

9:21: Wait, don’t tell me

9:21: “This is something – getting to make friends with you :D” Presumptuous, I see

9:22: “I hate the police – especially the AD Police. T_T” ice burn

9:22: “Instead of chasing girls’ asses, go for some Boomer butts!” Double burn! Priss, YOU ARE THE BURN MASTER >:o

9:23: Off to some random military peoples now… talking about the Knight Sabers

9:23: “They will work for money :D” well yeah… that’s how vigilantes work

9:23: And apparently, the military is corrupt… SHOCK OF SHOCK!

9:24: And the president of GENOM looks like John Boener… with bad fashion sense

9:25: I mean really – white suit with no shirt? Yuck!

9:25: “Don’t forget that Genom is a respectable company!” Oh… one of THOSE deals

9:25: Random scene of Sylia swimming… why? No reason

9:26: And flashback

9:26: Sylia’s dad has that stereotypical 10-dollar haircut

9:27: And the other scientists have mullets – business in front, party in back, douche all over!

9:27: “We’re making something to help mankind with Boomers :D” -flash to crime scene- Suuuuure ya were.

9:27: Apparently, important information was kept on Betamax

9:28: Treachery, murder, boomer, Mason, and back to present. >_> wat

9:28: Jesus Christ, I don’t want Sylia’s alarm clock. That looks like something I’d crush in two weeks

9:29: Fact: Keurig and paper newspapers are both popular in 2032

9:30: …Mackey is a creepy bastard. You don’t stare at your own sister’s tits T_T That’s creepy!

9:30: And off to Silky Doll Lingerie store, where Nene’s browsing and Sylia looks bored

9:30: “Isn’t it RADICAL? :3” XD Holy shit

9:31: 20 mil… expensive panties :O

9:31: “This is uncool. T_T” ’80s slang was great

9:31: Blah blah military job blah blah too good to be true

9:32: And off on the way to the USSD Sylia and Nene go… IN their hardsuits. SMRT

9:32: “Hi :D” They’re very casual for being heavily-armed vigilantes

9:33: “Do you always dress like that? ‘_’ “”YES :3” hah… They’re proud of who they are, and that’s awesome

9:34: “Effu Gi Furedorikku :D”

9:34: Military wants them to find a little girl. >_>

9:35: Yeah, they’re boomers.

9:35: Hey, Reagan’s Star Wars satellites actually get built eventually

9:35: “They’re to insure the safety of our country :O” sure they are

9:35: And my ass spews hot chocolate

9:36: hah :D Nene’s getting cheeky – etched nasty graffiti into the sidewalk

9:36: And the Knight Sabers are GONE – replaced by two womens :O WHO WOULD KNOW :O

9:40: Strategy session is go

9:40: And Priss is looking in a disco XD “Did the guy or brat run out on ya? :D” Poor Priss XD

9:40: That’s one dead bartender

9:40: Bad guys are go

9:40: This show sponsored by Heineken, apparently

9:40: And Priss is being tailed.

9:40: Hey, Alex Kidd is on a pic in the phone booth :D

9:41: On the road to Aqua City – and Priss kicks ass

9:42: …but not without getting hurt in the accident. “Shit, if you’re gonna have an accident, do it neater! T_T – BOOM- O.o”

9:42: Bike theft ftw

9:42: And boomers apparently have jets now

9:43: And it just so happens that Leon is cruisin’ by, to see Priss ride by, followed by ROCKETBUMA

9:43: D’aw… Nene can’t take more coffee

9:43: “I told her to call every hour T_T” Sylia is apparently her mom now

9:44: “R-51 – that’s Aqua City :O” how convenient.

9:44: “We’re not going out T_T” “I’M WORRIED :O” …they’re going out.

9:44: And Leon has a biiiig gun. WOnder if he’s compensating

9:45: And back to Priss, who’s running through the dark

9:45: And she finds the kid, who’s drawing… a full-scale map of MegaTokyo?

9:46: “Who’s you, gramma? :D” ouch! And Priss takes a direct hit to the ego!

9:46: “I’ve seen that drawing somewhere before :O”

9:46: Satellite

9:47: “What the hell are you? :O” Guess: She controls the satellite

9:47: And everyone else is suitin’ up… as Priss gets surrounded

9:47: They apparently have motorcycles – which they could’ve used instead of the fucking BUS

9:48: Boomer boobs have missiles in ’em

9:49: More shots of the Knight Sabers on their motorcycles

9:49: “We’ve shown you nothing but kindness :3” ass-whuppings are kind?

9:49: “Apparently, you know nothing about Cynthia :o” nope

9:49: And just in time, the Knight Sabers save the day.

9:50: Goodbye skin, hello missileboobies

9:50: And badass fight scenes

9:50: “I’d say you’re superior to the military’s K-12 troops :O” So does the military

9:51: And Frederick is apparently a tentacle monster o_o

9:51: WTF Japan

9:51: A tentacle monster that absorbs buildings

9:51: …THERE’S Leon – took him long enough

10:00: And she goes INTO the giant boomer

10:01: Only to get tangled by the tentacles of the beast

10:01: And there he is – a tiny head in the middle of a giant tentacle mass

10:02: That gets blown to bits. But not before it tries to suck in the girl

10:02: “She’s a boomer :O” ya think?

10:02: Something tels me that satellite’s gonna… yep

10:02: Aqua City is now rubble, and the Knight Sabers must now escape an explosion

10:03: Again, the destruction here is simply amazing to see.

10:03: All 100% hand drawn, all gorgeous

10:03: “Can we still get our 20 mil? :D” Oh, Nene and Linna

10:04: Oh… good… Leon made it out alive.

10:04: “Sorry to keep us waiting for our date :D” “I wasn’t waiting for you T_T” Ice burn again, Priss.

10:04: “I wonder if she’s a….?” Yes

10:05: And the camera pans out and fades to black

10:05: End credits time – HEY MISUTAA DANDEE! >:o

10:05: The verdict? Even in 2010, this is amazing.

10:06: The OVA has this cinematic quality to it – the feel of a big-budget flick, but the crazy fun of cyberpunk.

10:06: For the love of god, if you haven’t seen this yet – please, do yourselves a favor – watch Bubblegum Crisis.

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