The content of this piece was written during a viewing of the first episode of Magical Meow Meow Taruto on October 29, 2010. Edits have been made for spelling and grammar, but the rest is completely untouched, and un-edited from its original format.

I’m just getting this out of the way – I feel dirty. In a very, very bad way. And this time, it was my own fault! I’m going to go um.. curl up in a fetal position now, ‘kay?

8:17 PM:Good evening, everybody, and welcome to a pre-Halloween showblog!

8:17 PM:Tonight, I’ll be going over a show that I haven’t seen in many years – for good reason.

8:17 PM:Tonight, I’m going to endure Magical Meow Meow Taruto.

8:18 PM:I ended up reviewing this for AD a few years back and, frankly, I feel I was WAY too nice to it.

8:18 PM:So, this is my opportunity to right a humongous wrong.

8:19 PM:Anyway, I’ll just get the essentials out of the way before I rant.

8:20 PM:Directed by Tsukasa Tsunaga (Dirty Pair Flash, Eden’s Bowy)

8:20 PM:Created by Kaishaku (Kaiba)

8:21 PM:Sorry – wrong reference open. :P

8:21 PM:Kaishaku created Kannazuki no Miko and Steel Angel Kurumi

8:22 PM:Animated by Madhouse (Hellsing, Ninja Scroll, Black Lagoon)

8:22 PM:Anyway, I’ve wasted enough time… godspeed, everyone. :P

8:23 PM:I’m goin’ in

8:23 PM:“This is the story of a legendary land in a dimension slightly askew from our own called Ganache :D” … uh… kay?

8:24 PM:blah blah blah Kinka blah blah Byoh deceived and rebelled blah blah

8:24 PM:Stained glass pictures of kitties butchering each other… really wtf image

8:25 PM:And, apparently, the Cat King gave dominion to his infant daughter, or something, and sent her off with a guard… before she was abandoned

8:25 PM:Moses style

8:25 PM:“Nobody knows what happened to the princess :D” …of COURSE not.

8:26 PM:And blue sky with… midget catgirl and an effeminate guy eating ice cream

8:26 PM:…wat

8:26 PM:Catgirl: “:D”

8:26 PM:Apparently, they’re moving.

8:27 PM:And the catgirl is a second class citizen since she speaks and the full grown person doesn’t answer :P

8:27 PM:“Meow 1 – Beginning, beginning :D” repetition is fun

8:27 PM:And inside the house – three catguys in masks pop in. Cat Burglars?

8:27 PM:Apparently not >_>

8:28 PM:“NANI KA II KOTO NAI KANA :O” … Five minutes in and I feel like a creep. Good going, Madhouse!

8:29 PM:Opening sounds like something out of Azumanga Daioh… so far it’s the only redeeming feature of the show.

8:29 PM:“The whole town is my garden, meow :D” Oh yeah… they meow. ‘_’ And whine

8:29 PM:And more midget catgirls

8:30 PM:Pretty boy’s sister talking about her somewhat strange brother…

8:30 PM:Who is apparently named Iori, and reads books about CAKES while listening to classical music.

8:30 PM:This guy’s screwed up.

8:31 PM:And I dunno if he’s just slow or the catgirls can’t talk… but he just ignores her and talks about potato mashers. wtf Japan

8:31 PM:“Aren’t German things nice? :D” WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS! >(

8:31 PM:“That’s not it T_T” “It’s German made. ^_^” “Hehehe -blush-” …again – CREEPY D:

8:32 PM:I’m liking Iori’s sister – she’s not as weird.

8:32 PM:Iori’s going on and on about growing yams… literally two minutes now

8:33 PM:And his sister’s as annoyed as I am. T_T

8:33 PM:While catgirl (I’m assuming Taruto) just fawns over him.

8:34 PM:“I’ll give her a hand, meow :D” sure she will… just talk about your damn potatoes, Iori. -_- Let the midget and girl do all the work.

8:34 PM:That’s really chivalrous, after all.

8:34 PM:And… wat? catgirl can use magic? And sister’s scolding her. Good. >_>

8:35 PM:Oh god no – she’s flailing and crying. D: It’s like listening to a baby crying

8:35 PM:“Why did Iori take in this cat? D:” Wait… that’s a midget, not a cat.

8:35 PM:Maybe a dwarf.. but DEFINITELY not a cat

8:36 PM:“I wasn’t being naughty, meow D:” uh… huh

8:36 PM:And she’s rubbing against him now… ‘-‘ Creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepyyyyy

8:36 PM:Iori’s treating her like a pet.

8:37 PM:New catgirls: Chitose and blondie. Chitose has a tail fetish. #CREEPY

8:37 PM:Oh – Taruto made her master fall asleep… then fell asleep, facefirst on his crotch

8:38 PM:And Taruto as a baby – and wearing… short dresses. ‘-‘ I am SO creeped out right now

8:38 PM:Srsly

8:38 PM:Hah – she imagines Iori’s sister as the family “dog”.

8:39 PM:Oh noes D: Intruders.

8:39 PM:And of course, being slow, Taruto chases the noise.

8:39 PM:Eyecatch… yay :D

8:40 PM:And back to the mask peoples

8:40 PM:And back to Taruto.

8:40 PM:“I’m imagining things D: -fridge opens-

8:40 PM:Yep… the other two midgets are screwing with Taruto.

8:41 PM:“A GHOST ;-;” -WHAM- Finally someone shut her up

8:41 PM:And it’s miss tail fetish. ‘_’

8:42 PM:And Blondie’s stealing cake… while Chitose gets… “affectionate” with Taruto’s tail. ‘_’ Creeeeeepy

8:42 PM:-shudder-

8:42 PM:“I don’t smell mice :o” “Must be burglars :3”

8:43 PM:“Her tail looks absolutely delicious! <3” …again, CREEPY

8:43 PM:And the newcomers leave poor Taruto to fend for themselves…

8:43 PM:That didn’t last.

8:43 PM:Taruto’s out and waking up Iori >_>

8:43 PM:Ohp – here comes the chaos

8:44 PM:As Iori sleeps… and the other midgets watch

8:44 PM:Hah… she’s inspired by anime.

8:45 PM:And she misses and gets herself >_> oops

8:45 PM:…Back to masked catpeoples

8:45 PM:And back again to Taruto

8:45 PM:Who trashed the house

8:46 PM:And charges head-on into her own magic blast. FAIL KO

8:46 PM:“You must be strong D:” oh my god she’s on shrooms and seeing things

8:47 PM:And the Monster? A rat named Kakipi. I can’t make this shit up

8:47 PM:Catpeople “We done goofed D: Time to keep walking.”

8:48 PM:Taruto finds out that Kakipi is a hobo.

8:48 PM:And Kakipi learns that Taruto knows magic. that also fails.

8:48 PM:And fails hard

8:49 PM:Ohp – catgirl’s sprouting magic sticks.

8:49 PM:And some talk about the princess from the beginning… blah blah “You might be her, Taruto :O”

8:49 PM:And Iori’s sister comes home to hell on earth

8:50 PM:“I’m Iori’s fiancee ^_^” …Taruto keeps making this creepy ;.;

8:50 PM:And the episode is over…

8:50 PM:What did we learn today, everyone? :D

8:50 PM:1) Catgirls are midgets

8:51 PM:2) Midgets are second class citizens in Taruto’s world

8:51 PM:3) This show is freaking creepy

8:51 PM:Really, I can’t begin to describe the levels of “WRONG” this show goes to in just a half an hour.

8:52 PM:Do yourselves a favor and, unless you really REALLY like cute stuff, stay away.

8:52 PM:And I say that as a person that enjoys cute stuff.

Magical Meow Meow Taruto is available in America through Bandai Entertainment.

The series can be purchased through Right Stuf.