4:58 PM: Good afternoon, everyone, and welcome to a bonus #AIC themed show blog!
4:58 PM: Today, I finish what I started with a review of Magical Girl Pretty Sammy. If you caught Monday’s run, you know you’re in for some rage!
4:59 PM: Anyway, I’d like to just get the essentials out of the way so we can get this one moving. :D
5:00 PM: Directed by Kazuyuki Hirokawa (Tattoon Master, Galactic Patrol Lensman)
5:00 PM: Script by Yousuke Kuroda (Battle Athletes Victory, Hayate the Combat Butler)
5:01 PM: Produced by AIC
5:02 PM: So, without further ado, let’s BRING ON THE SUCK!
5:03 PM: Open to a magical world… Jurai I guess?
5:04 PM: Tsunami and Ramia are being judged to be the ruler of the planet, to be decided by 108 priests
5:04 PM: So it’s a popularity contest. >_>
5:05 PM: “The time has come :3” A bit confident there, aren’t we, Ramia?
5:05 PM: “The ruler will be… TSUNAMI >:o” Cue shots of pissed Ramia >_>
5:06 PM: And Tsunami chooses her candidate to test her worthiness for the crown. OK? ‘_’
5:06 PM: And it is? :O -suspense!-
5:06 PM: …WHAT THE FUCK
5:07 PM: Logically speaking HOW THE HELL can it be Sasami? Tsunami IS Sasami in some fucked up twist of lore. This was established. >_>
5:07 PM: And… she lives with some lady… who likes Karaoke? >_>
5:08 PM: And Tenchi. ‘_’ wtf
5:08 PM: Is that… Rica Matsumoto playing Sasami’s roommate?
5:08 PM: -look- yep.
5:08 PM: …Back to the show >_> Sasami done goofed.
5:09 PM: Sorry – TSUNAMI. Though the two should be interchangable…
5:09 PM: Hah :D 1990s dub overlays are funny
5:09 PM: So far, I have no faith in this. And we’re just at the credits! :D
5:10 PM: Holy crap naked Sasami in credits. >_> #Disturbed!
5:11 PM: Show starting proper now… and there’s Ryoko. “I NO UNDERSTAND JAPANESE :D”
5:12 PM: And Sasami meets her little friend >_>
5:12 PM: Back to Ryoko, who kicked some ass. Fun.
5:12 PM: And she’s hot for Tenchi. “Haanii-chan :D”
5:12 PM: “Ryoko, did you get in another fight! T_T” “What gives you THAT idea? :3” I dunno… the pile of unconscious ’80s girls?
5:13 PM: Hah… dead weight flies like paper airplanes in this world
5:13 PM: …And Ryoko’s showing off her panties. Sorry – bloomers. >_> Saabisu, saabisu!
5:14 PM: “We’re in public, you know T_T” Yeah… you don’t show off your undies in public >_>
5:14 PM: And Sasami’s jealous. Hah.
5:14 PM: This is totally ripping off Project A-Ko now. Ayeka’s apparently the snotty rich girl everyone hates. >_> So yeah… B-Ko to a T
5:14 PM: And she lusts after C-Ko, I mean Tenchi
5:15 PM: “Makes me feel SOMETHING :3” “Feel something? WHERE? :O” good question
5:15 PM: More Ryoko bloomers as a catfight brews between her and Ayeka. #saabisu
5:16 PM: Ouch… Tenchi walked right in to a dual facepunch.
5:16 PM: Poor C-Ko gets abused by A-Ko and B-Ko in this episode D:
5:17 PM: “My perfect record is ruined ;-;” Cheer up, B-ko. Don’t go… uh… she went insane >_>
5:17 PM: And C-Ko walks right into MORE abuse. Oh wait… this is Tenchi, isn’t it?
5:17 PM: WHY IS RYO-OHKI TALKING?!
5:17 PM: Fact: Sasami kicks ass in dodgeball
5:18 PM: And her friend is on acid. She sees the birds, the BIRDS :O
5:18 PM: “Whaddya think that bird was? o_o” Drug vision
5:19 PM: Heh. That doesn’t get old, though – Tenchi being chased by Ryoko, who’s being chased by Ayeka
5:19 PM: And Sasami’s talking bad about her “brother” >_> Riiiiight
5:20 PM: Misao’s home now… and her mom’s gonna be late. :(
5:20 PM: Didn’t take long for her to get out the acid >_> She’s seeing that bird again… and her eyes are glazing over
5:20 PM: Meanwhile, Sasami says NO to drugs :D But… runs into Kiyone and… -SIGH- Mihoshi
5:21 PM: “Would you do me a favor? :D Bring this CD to that giant house across town? :D”
5:22 PM: “IT’S SCARY ;O;” Both Kiyone and Sasami give her “mom” the perfect expression
5:22 PM: “But you can send your daughter? -_-” “YEP :D”
5:22 PM: Into the mansion she goes… and it’s abandoned.
5:23 PM: Tsunami appears out of nowhere and confronts herself. Yet Sasami doesn’t question the girl materializing out of THIN AIR
5:23 PM: “My name is Tsunami :D” “Nice to meet you :D -float-”
5:24 PM: “Magic only happens in games :O” And Tsunami makes the disc play magically. Great use of power
5:24 PM: “You’re gonna be a magical girl :D PRETTY SAMMY :D” I, meanwhile, die on the inside
5:25 PM: …WHY THE FUCK IS RYO OHKI TALKING?!
5:25 PM: “Hold the stick and say PRETTY MUTATION :O” wat.
5:25 PM: …Oh… boy… naked Sasami again -_-
5:26 PM: And she looks like a china doll. “It’s a hand me down :D” Tsunami’s got odd taste. >_>
5:26 PM: Hah! And Sasami sees that, too. Disturbing thought of Tsunami in magical girl gear
5:26 PM: “You can use magic only when in these clothes :D BYE! -leave-”
5:26 PM: And Tsunami’s rival is having a temper tantrum
5:27 PM: And the bird returns… as a kid.
5:27 PM: wat
5:28 PM: The next day :D Washu’s driving around looking for something… and Sasami’s friend is having rape dreams. Lovely
5:28 PM: …Ohp – there’s Sasami to kick ass. “YOU’RE GETTING POPULAR :O” Uhhhh
5:29 PM: “Nice to meetcha :D” “Don’t mention is >_>” “This’s gonna hurt ONE TWO PUNCH :D” “THAT REALLY HURTS D:” …what the fuck, Sasami?
5:29 PM: Hah! Even in dreams, people laugh at her stupid costume
5:30 PM: “It was a dream D:” Yep. And there’s Ryo-Oh-Ki to break her brain
5:30 PM: I know she broke mine. Why is she taking? D:
5:30 PM: Off to Kiyone and Mihoshi… Mihoshi’s talking. T_T “You’re a busy college student and I FAILED entrance eams T_T” Poor Kiyone ‘_’
5:31 PM: Mihoshi makes her rage like me
5:31 PM: “I’m moving in today :D” “You have good manners for a little girl :D” uhh…
5:31 PM: Now she’s telling a sob story :D Mindfuck?
5:31 PM: Oh god stop crying Mihoshi T_T
5:32 PM: Hah :D I love Washu – she’s great at using people
5:32 PM: And she made Mihoshi and Washu late for work. … and Mihoshi proves how retarded she is.
5:33 PM: Kiyone and Sasami chillin’ out in the record store. #Feelsgoodman
5:34 PM: Hah! Unintentional hilarity :D “Mama had to go to the next town to do this :D -opens mouth, holds closed fist close to her mouth-
5:34 PM: I know it should be singing, but that looked so SO wrong
5:34 PM: … Wat. >_> Ryoko is screwing Tenchi now?
5:35 PM: And Misao’s lured by the music. How convenient >_>
5:35 PM: “He disappeared :3” “He’s my papa D:” Awk-warrrrrrd
5:35 PM: More awkward – Ryoko trudges out of Tenchi’s room undressed, moaning for Tenchi >_>
5:36 PM: Back to Washu doing what she does best :3
5:36 PM: Ohp – this turned back into Project A-Ko
5:37 PM: “You slept into Tenchi’s house :3” And Ayeka reveals her true identity as Lei Fang
5:37 PM: Cue catfight
5:37 PM: And C-Ko’s gonna walk right into the punch again. Sorry, I mean Tenchi >_>
5:38 PM: Or not – he stayed out and let ’em get their asses kicked >_>
5:38 PM: And Misao angsts
5:39 PM: And birdboy takes her away >_> Back to the fight
5:39 PM: “They don’t have to stop it! :3” Oh, Misao
5:39 PM: She turned into a whore :D
5:39 PM: Magical Girl Pretty Misa :D
5:39 PM: “We got another weirdo, don’t we? >_>” Amen, Washu
5:40 PM: And now, she turns Ayeka and Ryoko into giant jelly things? ‘-‘ wat
5:40 PM: “RETSU BEGEEN :D”
5:40 PM: WTF
5:41 PM: They’re hugging Tenchi to death D:
5:41 PM: “HOW DID A MAGICAL GIRL GET HERE?!” HOW ARE YOU FUCKING TALKING, RYO-OH-KI?!
5:41 PM: Transform time.
5:42 PM: And now she kicks ass – IN THE NAME OF THE MOON :O
5:42 PM: Everyone: “Wut ‘_’ ”
5:43 PM: “She’s a magical girl all right :3” SHE SHOOTS LASERS T_T
5:43 PM: “Love Love monsters, go love Sammy to death :D” Here comest the rape
5:43 PM: And Sammy fails at Magical Girl battle
5:44 PM: Sammy makes a good hackey sack :D
5:44 PM: Kiyone has the right idea – “I didn’t see anything ‘_’ ”
5:45 PM: Aww – Tenchi saves the day with his apology. How… trite
5:45 PM: And flashbacks are go – I LOVE YOU BECAUSE –
5:46 PM: “I can see what they’re thinking about :3” That’s a lame super power
5:46 PM: And Ayeka and Ryoko moan orgasmically ‘_’ wat
5:47 PM: Finishing attack is GO – and Sammy gets a more absurd outfit. wat.
5:47 PM: She is WINRAR – and Misa leaves a cowardly note – “AI SHARU RETAAN :D” Engrish is fun
5:48 PM: …And C-Ko, I mean Tenchi, gets his ass kicked anyway
5:48 PM: “What have I done? D:” wouldn’t YOU like to know?
5:48 PM: “Tenchi doesn’t get true love :3” so he’s a bigamist?
5:48 PM: “You’re the chosen one I have chosen <3” Retarded dialogue is retarded
5:49 PM: “I want to know about Misa T_T” I dunno :D” “really? ^_^” “yeah! ^_^ Ahahaha” bad liar ftl
5:49 PM: “Why can’t you get along D:” They won’t til you boink one of ’em, Tenchi >_>
5:50 PM: And they’re all late…. again -_- -SIGH- Looks like Washu’s the new science teacher :D #win
10:43 PM: A bit later than expected due to Twitter limits, but here goes:
10:44 PM: Verdict: This is absolute garbage.
10:44 PM: Seriously, I’d rather watch GENESHAFT than deal with more of this tripe.
10:44 PM: Avoid it if you can.
10:45 PM: Seriously – this show does more harm to Tenchi as a brand than the last OVA.
10:46 PM: I’ll do my best to try to forget this one, though I worry that it’ll haunt my nightmares for a while to come