Herald Views: My Bride is a Mermaid: Episode 1

5:03 PM: While I prepare, let’s get the usual out of the way. :)

5:03 PM: My Bride Is a Mermaid:

5:04 PM: Directed by Seiji Kishi

5:05 PM: Animated by AIC, Avex, and Gonzo [-shudder- Damn you, Magikano… you made me hate Gonzo! D: ]

5:05 PM: 26 episodes, premiered on 4/1/2007

5:05 PM: Opening Theme: Romantic Summer by SUN & LUNAR

5:06 PM: Official Japanese Title: Seto no Hanayome

5:06 PM: I think that covers it. :) Stay tuned! I’ll be back for the ‘shows in 4!

5:12 PM: Coffee’s done – time to begin! :D

5:12 PM: “Summer – the Seto Inland Sea” -> “Mio Sun Beach”

5:12 PM: …cue drowning man.

5:13 PM: ohp… drowned man.

5:13 PM: “Somebody… help me ;-;” Saved :o

5:14 PM: “A… mermaid? ‘-‘” Yeah, delusions are supposedly like that >->

5:14 PM: cut to water crashing on waves… epic!

5:14 PM: or something

5:15 PM: Really, I’m expecting the Hakusensha logo to pop up or something

5:15 PM: “Obligation is the sincerest form of insanity ^_^” …quite true.

5:15 PM: Opening – sugary-sweet vocals into bouncy electric guitar

5:16 PM: “A Ninkyo love comedy!”

5:16 PM: Really not digging the character designs for this – they’re pretty generi- Hey! Afro dude! :O Show me more of him!

5:16 PM: Giant enemy octopus!

5:16 PM: Will they hit his weak point for massive damage? :D

5:17 PM: Episode 1: THE YAKUZA WIFE” – complete with cheesy 1970s-ish “Drama” flourish

5:17 PM: Main character yawning… he’s as bored as I am.

5:17 PM: “Are we there yet? I’m tired of this! D:” …amen :(

5:18 PM: The guy has a name – Michishio Nagasumi

5:18 PM: who went to the beach to visit his grandma

5:18 PM: “There’s only one bus per hour! o_o” Sounds like Warren >_>

5:19 PM: More “riding” footage

5:19 PM: “Water on your right, and mountains on the left… that’s Seto for you!”

5:19 PM: predicting it now – Grandma’s crazy in the head somehow.

5:20 PM: Prayer to the ancestors – “You made your grandpa happy ^_^”

5:20 PM: Michishio’s grandma = typical old lady… how disappointing

5:20 PM: “He’s not much of a student :D” …encouraging parents, I see

5:21 PM: “Yer daddy was even worse at studyin’! :3” See above

5:21 PM: Michishio’s kind of a fop. Very bland.

5:21 PM: “NAGASUMI! ^_^” His dad frightens me.

5:22 PM: …he’s standing in the living room with nothing but an inner tube and a tacky pair of shorts on o_o wat

5:22 PM: “Yer not hyper ENOUGH! ;-;” Agreed, papa-san :D

5:22 PM: “Of course I can swim! :3” -> flash forward to him drowning.

5:23 PM: he can swim REALLY well -_-

5:23 PM: “Oi! Nagasumi :O” cue wake-up on a rock

5:23 PM: “Dad, I.. I did, I did drown :O” no ya didn’t. T_T Sadly.

5:24 PM: Pops is talking about the mermaids… I smell a plot point!

5:24 PM: Camera cuts to strange girl – I smell a second plot point!

5:25 PM: “So ya got saved by a mermaid? ^_^” “It’s true, I wa- -SMACKED!-” “You’re embarrassing me! T_T” Grandma = awesome, mother = petty bitch.

5:26 PM: “There’ve always been legends of mermaids in the inland sea. :o” plot point continues…

5:26 PM: “If the legends are tellin’ the truth, you’re in a heap of trouble :O” and it comes full circle

5:26 PM: k… straightening one thing out – main character = Nagasumi Michishio, not the other way around… oops :p

5:27 PM: “I don’t know who he takes after T_T” Mama character? Do us a favor and shut the eff up… please. That’s not cute, it’s annoying.

5:27 PM: “Annou, good evening. :3” “And she was really good looking – like that girl :D” I guess now, Nagasumi gains his mermaid harem?

5:28 PM: This isn’t funny. :(

5:29 PM: “My name is Sun Seto ^_^”That’s not an unusual name at all!

5:29 PM: really, this isn’t funny… -_-

5:29 PM: “Nagasume, please… Please… please make me your bride! ;-;” er… wow. Who didn’t see that comin’? Anybody? Anyone?

5:29 PM: This show sucks. -_-

5:30 PM: “I want you to take responsibility for what happened this afternoon! ;-;” parents = “He screwed that girl? o_o”

5:30 PM: Most epic line ever: “YOU FAPPY BASTARD!” That will become the new “YOU SPOONY BARD!” someday… OK, it won’t… but that’s just awesome XD

5:31 PM: …now poor Nagasumi’s getting beaten like a cheap rug and berated by understandably angry parents

5:31 PM: “Sorry to bother you late at night T_T” -> Yakuza peoples

5:32 PM: Cue mama getting horny. Seriously. Tag flies by in the back that says “Mature sex drive one wild!”

5:33 PM: Looks like the Yakuza guy’s going to bring Nagasumi’s parents to the Boss… She aint’ a mermaid – she’s yakuza… or both.

5:33 PM: “All right then, everyone… you go first T_T -push off cliff-

5:33 PM: yep. Both.

5:34 PM: “Mermaid? Is she the one from this afternoon? ;-;” yes.

5:34 PM: Sun’s papa is freaking awesome.

5:34 PM: And mama’s getting turned on by some Yakuza guy making out with her son. I can NOT make this shit up

5:35 PM: Again – Sun’s dad is freaking awesome. He’s a typical Yakuza boss through and through: Name? Gozaburou Seto

5:35 PM: Sun’s mom? Ren Seto

5:37 PM: Plot synopsis by father – Sun saved Nagasumi’s life; Nagasumi saw Sun’s true form, so he’s now married to her… to avoid a death sentence.

5:37 PM: Sun’s death, that is.

5:37 PM: “It’s YER fault, ya little shit?! T_T” – I like this guy

5:38 PM: “Boil me, burn me, whatever ya want! T_T” …so unpredictable -_-

5:38 PM: “Ya see, Nagasume, we thoguht of a way so neither of ya have ta die. :3” Sun’s mom is awesome, too

5:39 PM: “He can marry my precious, precious sun… or we’ll hafta kill every uman that knows about this! :O” yeah, he’s boned

5:40 PM: “We don’t even know each other yet :O” uh… yeah… this will lead to a harem show

5:40 PM: …with the epic mob parents

5:40 PM: Fact: This show got 100 times more awesome after the mob parents got involved.

5:40 PM: “The man that gave me my first kiss! *.*” Uh… Nagasumi is distracted

5:43 PM: Door opens, water rushes in, Nagasumi makes an escape… almost gets eaten by a freakin’ shark

5:43 PM: “I’m always the one getting saved.” >_> Wuss

5:44 PM: “I wonder if dad’s still after us! o_o” “You called him ‘dad’ o//o” bad writing is BAD

5:45 PM: Nagasumi is screwed

5:45 PM: “Why did you save me? :o” “Why? o_o” cue cheesy martyr explanation from Sun -_-

5:45 PM: “HONOR AMONG THIEVES (under the sea!)”

5:46 PM: Nakajima = giant enemy octopus

5:46 PM: “Octopy! :D Killy :D” … a socially inept one at that

5:47 PM: “Running away won’t solve anything o_o”

5:47 PM: “I WANT PERMISSION TO MARRY YOUR DAUGHTER :O” and everyone’s happy… ‘cept the dad.

5:47 PM: Who doesn’t like Nagasumi. And he’s trying to murder the kid now. o_o

5:48 PM: cue wacky music. This is supposed to be a happy end? o_o

5:48 PM: “DROWN, YA FAPPY LITTLE SHIT!” …again, love that quote. :D

5:48 PM: and fade to credits.

5:49 PM: @FUNimation – why on EARTH did you license this show? It’s TERRIBLE o_o For a harem comedy it’s just not very funny at all.

5:49 PM: Verdict:

5:50 PM: The characters are two-dimensional, the plot is fairly stupid, and really… I just thought every single joke fell flat.

5:50 PM: The real standout is Sun’s parents who, for all intents and purposes, were freaking awesome.

5:52 PM: But yeah.. if episode one is an indicator, please do skip this one.