Meeting Date: 9/17/2017

Disclaimer: The Herald Anime Club discusses shows as they’re airing. Naturally, there will be spoilers for a given episode. You have been warned!

Mike Ferreira: Good evening everyone, and welcome to the Herald Anime Club. I’m Mike Ferreira, and I’m joined by Lydia Rivers
Lydia Rivers: Hello!
Mike Ferreira: Tonight, we’ll be talking about Classroom of the Elite Episode 10: “Tropical Dumpster Fire.gif”
Lydia Rivers:

Mike Ferreira: Amen to that.
Mike Ferreira: I swear, every time the show starts to endear itself, it goes and shits the bed. Repeatedly.
Lydia Rivers: Well, the series used the pool episode to drop its mask of being anything edgy and deep instead of making it a one-off. Now that the most recent sinister plot and mystery revolves around a circulating pair of panties, I think it’s clear.
Mike Ferreira: Very true.
Mike Ferreira: They aren’t even trying to hide it now.
Mike Ferreira: L.B. actually made an observation this week – we’re basically looking at Seiji Kishi’s “Jiggly Jiggly Heaven”
Mike Ferreira: Right down to the seventh episode being a total, irredeemable disaster.

This is a face that screams “What have I done with my life?”

Lydia Rivers: Thank god. I actually find this way far less tedious. Please be honest when you present your very own version of Jiggly Jiggly Heaven. The side characters only exist to ask the main character questions, panties get passed around, things go “boing,” and we’re not subjected to insults to our intelligence. ~.~
Mike Ferreira: Indeed. Just make it clear at the outset that your cast is made out of freaking cardboard… including your leads.
Lydia Rivers: Mhm, instead of pretending that you’re going to be addressing poignant things like societal (in)equality.
Mike Ferreira: Indeed. Makes those episode titles feel even more pretentious now.
Lydia Rivers: Right?! I mean I get it kind of. I understand that sometimes these plots need some new flavor of vehicle of delivery in order to remain fresh, but this particular one was particularly abrasive.
Mike Ferreira: Exactly. I mean, a fucking panty raid? They’re on a desert island, trying to go against the elements – one of their own classmates BAILED ON THEM in the previous episode… and the core conflict is “someone’s stealing fucking panties.” So much low-hanging fruit to work with, and they went with the cheapest, creepiest option
Lydia Rivers: I was pining for Swagamoto to show up, for reals. LOL
Mike Ferreira: That would’ve made my happy. Instead, we got class C noping out after blowing their points on a beach party

Mike Ferreira: While leaving two TOTALLY NOT SPIES with classes D and B.
Mike Ferreira: Also we have that bald guy in Class A who sounds like he’s 45, and has a chin that looks like a butt
Lydia Rivers: Yeah! This show can’t even make fun of what it’s doing. There is absolutely no redeeming factor!
“Every man has in himself the most dangerous traitor of all.”
“Lol, Bevis, sew discord while framing someone for stealing panties lol.”
Mike Ferreira: Exactly!
Mike Ferreira: It’s not even trying at this point.
Mike Ferreira: Granted, it wasn’t trying hard to begin with. Episode 2 opened, after the huge dramatic stinger, with the girls splashing around in the pool
Lydia Rivers: Writers: “Hey, let’s have them walk around the island and scout out the enemies, that’s a great way to set up conflict.”
Lead writer: “Panties, make it happen.”
Writers: “….ok.”

Mike Ferreira: …is it sad that I can see that as a real meeting?
Mike Ferreira: Lead Writer: “Panties.”
Writers: “But what about the whole redemption arc with Sa-”
Lead Writer: “All the panties. Turn it into Mission: Impossible.”
Writers: “…(okay)”
Lydia Rivers: Director: “Yes that’s it. Give us more shots of Ayanokouji’s blank eyes as all of this happens. No, we need more. We haven’t shown the audience how he never panics yet.”
Everyone: “Um, we did in every…”
Director: “You’re right. Ok, have him say that’s interesting, but make sure Horikita says how stupid the zero sum is first so everyone remembers that he’s the genius. We haven’t shown the audience how he’s the genius yet.”
Everyone: “…ok.”
Mike Ferreira: Director: “And remember: make it as simple and obvious as possible. We’re not making Equus here.”

Lydia Rivers: Exec producer: “Ha. Whoever said you can’t have social commentary plastered over a backdrop of jello? Today’s youth is thoughtful youth, we must meet their needs.” :V
Mike Ferreira: Writers: “Actually, our audience is *whispers*”
Exec Producer: “They’re HOW old and doing WHAT?!”
Lydia Rivers: Exec Producer: “…Hm, well ok. Better up the animation quality then. Make it gorgeous people! Let’s go!”
Mike Ferreira: Writers: “…I need a drink. Okay, ten drinks. Maybe twenty.”
Lydia Rivers: I fully admit to a morbid curiosity in the source material, to be honest! I want to know how badly (or not) the anime warped the actual story.
Lydia Rivers: Did it ACTUALLY read like a terrible ecchi visual novel?
Mike Ferreira: God, I hope so. Then I’d at least have some small semblance of sympathy for the team.
Lydia Rivers: Can you imagine if it was an actual decent attempt at young adult literature? If I were the author, I’d want to change my name.
Mike Ferreira: Oh god, yeah… I imagine that this was still pretty trashy as a novel, though
Lydia Rivers: Haha yeah, what was I imagining? Back to sympathy for the team.
Mike Ferreira: Hehe. Just a tiny bit.

Lydia Rivers: Hmph. Well, suffice to say I’m ready for this season to be over. I’m glad that I don’t have to experience the insult of extreme pretense anymore…that can be said as the only improvement that has occurred in this series.
Mike Ferreira: I will be upset if we don’t get a train wreck of an ending
Lydia Rivers: I hope they end it without answering any questions about Ayanokouji, on a cliff hanger, with the teacher’s evil laughter filling my ears.
Mike Ferreira: Still love that teacher. She’s amazing.
Mike Ferreira: I still say it, though… this is a show that would have been a billion times better if we were following the actual successful classes. We’d at least have real intrigue and genuinely interesting assholes to watch.
Lydia Rivers: Maybe they’ll all get into trouble and they’ll take the teacher fantasy thing way too far and have her blaze in like Yoko Littner.
Mike Ferreira: … … … I would be OK with that.
Lydia Rivers: ME TOO! LOL
Lydia Rivers: Again, let us look at a truly masterful way to mix fan service and social commentary. Gurren Lagann and Kill la Kill
Mike Ferreira: Amen to that.

Lydia Rivers: It can be done, it has been done, not even hot sauce can save Classroom of the Elite, but it’d be nice if they pulled something ridiculous like that at the end.
Mike Ferreira: I’d have respect for the show if they did that
Lydia Rivers: I wouldn’t. But at least we’d have something interesting to laugh about while we discuss the final episode. :D
Mike Ferreira: I mean, shit – we’re here, talking up a character who’s had all of, what? four minutes of screen time? Across ten episodes? And somehow she’s left that much of an impression – she’s sharp, she’s smart as fuck, and she’s morally ambiguous. She’s what the major characters of this show SHOULD HAVE BEEN ALL ALONG
Mike Ferreira: Instead, we have “I seem to have gotten two girls’ phone numbers. What a problem.”
Lydia Rivers: Maybe we shouldn’t ruin her by asking for more screen time….
Lydia Rivers: The laws of averages say…yeah…
Mike Ferreira: Indeed.
Mike Ferreira: The writers can’t do strong characterization, so we’d likely end up with some insulting, jiggly, bratty mess.

Lydia Rivers: CotE has the laurel of bringing forth even MY cynicism LOL. I am a natural optimist, and look at me now.
Mike Ferreira: That says something. I mean, I’ve been beaten down by 15 years of awful shows, from Geneshaft, to Magical Meow Meow Taruto, to Angel Tales. “Cynical” is my resting state nowadays. You, though… it’s rare to see you snark so strongly
Matt Brown: What Mike is saying is I ruined his life by sending him screeners during a more savage time.
Lydia Rivers: Yeah! I was spoon-fed the best (mostly) in my early anime days. I had kind senpai… and the past 4-5 years catching up has been mostly nice. I do try to be respectful when I communicate my tastes because I don’t expect them to reflect the tastes of others… nor would I want them to. It’s boring.
Lydia Rivers: But occasionally one comes along that is so insulting I just can’t stay still.
Mike Ferreira: And man, is this an insulting show.
Lydia Rivers: This is one of them, again due to them masquerading crappy fan service as real, serious, world-wide problems.
Mike Ferreira: Indeed… they’ve constantly tried to pretend that it was a substantive, strong show, hoping that nobody would notice.
Mike Ferreira: But yeah… it’s anything but that. This is the slice-of-light equivalent to Geneshaft – it just gets worse and worse with each passing episode

It bears repeating – in no context is this ever okay!

Lydia Rivers: And fortunately, it is almost over. Next season is going to be A-MAZ-ING.
Mike Ferreira: Yaaaaay~!
Mike Ferreira: On that note, readers: Our next season we’ll be talking up The Ancient Magus’ Bride.
Lydia Rivers: I truly hope we can go back to our normal group dynamic where some of us love, some of us judge haha.
Mike Ferreira: I just hope we don’t get another CotE or Seiren lol
Mike Ferreira: Any final thoughts on this week’s episode?
Lydia Rivers: *Looks hopefully, far off into the distance.* No…
Mike Ferreira: OK, then… tune in next week when we continue our adventures in sandbagging the show’s clearly brilliant writing! Have a great night, everyone!
Lydia Rivers: Stay shiny everyone! May you whose power Irma stole be visited by an army of Pikachu.